TOPSIE

BOY OR GIRL?

Hmmm…In Africa, this question has become the most popular question asked as soon as the birth of a new born is announced. There’s usually great excitement when the answer is “it’s a boy!” and ‘ooh’ when it’s a girl most times. I really wonder why.

I met a woman my mum’s age at a friend’s wedding sometime ago who prayed for me that God will make my wedding soon, i told her i was married and had a child, immediately she asked for the sex and i told her it’s a beautiful baby girl, she said ooh, don’t worry, God will make the next one a boy. I was angry and wondered at her thinking. Thoughts then flashed accross my mind of an old couple who their wife after several years of trying to have a boy, gave her husband a young girl to “give him a male child”. I became thoroughly sorry for women whose security is based on their ability to bear their husband a male child. Some even put themselves under pressure when they don’t have a male child. It’s rather worrisome. There’s a mentality that the female gender isn’t quite as good as the male.Hence we see mothers making their male children enjoy priviledges that the females are not given.

I was at a carol over the weekend and there was a ballet dance presentation by a group of little girls of btw 3-6 years old. It was a beautiful sight to behold. I was excited cos i had just enrolled my daughter for ballet lessons. I’ve got so many plans for her God willing, she will live a full fulfilled feminine life.

The proof or test of a fulfilled life is not linked to one’s gender, but to the quality of life lived.

It’s great to have desires, but let it not be due to societal or family pressure. Nothing just happens. There’s a higher force that ensures we have what’s best for us per time. Be Happy – It’s a choice.

Hi People!

Compliments of the season to you all. Christmas is a season for giving and sharing and more importantly, a time to celebrate friendship. I’ve been reading up some quotes on friendship which i’ll like to share with you all.

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

“You Can Make More Friends In Two Months By Becoming Interested In Other People Than You Can In Two Years By Trying To Get Other People Interested In You.”

“When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.”

“Friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.”

“The shift of fortune tests the reliability of friends.”

“It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanisms of friendship.”

“Have friends not equal to yourself.”

“Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.”

“Never explain–your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.”

“Nothing changes your opinion of a friend as surely as success – yours or his.”

“A good friend can tell you what the matter with you is in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.”

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.”

“All people want is someone to listen.”

“Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.”

“Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren’t bad people; they’re just acquaintances.”

“In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us; In Adversity We Know Our Friends.”

“Adversity does teach who your real friends are.”

“If you make it plain you like people, it’s hard for them to resist liking you back.”

“It’s the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter.”

Read these quotes, think deeply and choose to celebrate in your own unique way, the friends who have been friends INDEED. Show some love, give, there’s no loving without giving.

Enjoy the season!

HAVE YOU REGISTERED?!
Hi people,
I was supposed to have written about this for some time now. I’ve read and heard so much about people’s comments and views about recent happenings in the political scene in Nigeria, especially as the 2007 elections draw very close. People have talked and analyzed, it’s the topic of discussion at almost every informed/educated gathering. The discussions are usually laden with passion and hope or otherwise at the possible turn out of events.

But I really need to ask, How many people have registered? I put this question to every undergraduate and working class individual who have been actively involved in analyzing our nation.

Let us put our votes where our mouths are o. Let’s make things work. For your information, i registered almost 2 weeks ago. It wasn’t convenient but i made a sacrifice to do it. The people i was on queue with were old women and men, some of who didn’t know their ages, artisans, street boys and some public school teachers. They don’t know what you and i know as the learned but they have registered and will cast their votes for “whoever settles them, or whoever they’re told to vote for”, which mostly likely will not be the right people. Some aspiring councillors were even hanging around to help the old men and women with their registration, they obviously appreciated the gesture and could listen to these aspirants’ advice on which party to vote for. They’re vulnerable because they’re not informed.

I head a house fellowship group. I mandated them all to be registered before showing up for last sunday’s meeting. They ALL came, registered! This group is made up of working class people like you and I. Some of them registered just before the meeting. Oh Yes! registration takes place on sundays as well, so, your excuse???

I’ll round up this post with this saying:

“When an educated man vacates his right to choose his own leader the punishment that life offers him is to have stupid people rule over him”

A society deserves the leader they get(by voting or deciding not to vote!)

I’ll be excited to get comments from people telling me, “I’ve registered!”

Have a great weekend!
TGIF!

DON’T FALL IN!

Hi all,
The weekend was a busy one for me, a friend got married on saturday. The church service took place in an orthodox church. It took forever – choruses spanned through almost 2 hours after a 30 minute prayer time. As soon as i spotted the bride and groom, i went outside the church auditorium to congratulate them, hung around for a few more minutes and zapped! I headed straight for carol rehearsal/end of year party for my choir – it went well and lasted till about 7pm.

On my way home, my mind flashed back to the happenings of the day as i remembered the bride’s wedding gown, it was simply lovely, she definitely must have bought it from one of the big bridal houses in town. Then i remembered how lovely my dress looked on me when i got married. I thought, Oh God, the dress is hanging idly in a box,same with my native engagement attire as well as my husband’s. It cost us some money and the most painful part of this is that, none of those clothes has been worn after the ceremonies, was it not a waste? I am an advocate of looking good in quality costumes, so if i were to make those same decisions again, they wouldn’t change much. I’m disciplined as well when it comes to spending. But i really think there must be a way around having huge wedding expenses in this part of the world. What do you think?

My heart goes out particularly to young men who are under tremendous pressure to drop huge amounts of money in the name of wedding expenses, this is not to say you should be tightfisted, but have an agreed budget with your fiancee and stick to it.From experience, i think the wedding rings should take a high priority,don’t compromise the quality, it will save you the money you will need to get a replacement 1-2 years down the line if you buy cheap, low quality ones. Meanwhile, it’s about the only accessory that will remain in use for years after the wedding. As for the others, you could work around a moderate budget; afterall, people forget about most of those things that cost one an arm and a leg.

So keep the expenses slim, same with this xmas season; so many people spend so much that they’re dead broke all through January. You really don’t need to find yourself in this trap. Planning and wise spending pay off. Give, but do things reasonably.

OLOPA KE?

I studied pharmacy in the University and did very well, I was however faced after school with the reality of the fact that there was no field of pharmacy practice that appealed to me.

I had few options if i was going to practice the profession in Nigeria – It was either i went ahead to be a medical rep, in which case, i would have a brand new official car to move around ‘hawking drugs’and earn a paltry pay, be a hospital pharmacist (sit in a cubicle in a hospital and dispense drugs to patients), go back to academics to become Mrs Lecturer or set up a private community practice in which case i would sell drugs, this is one thing that some of our Eastern brothers have made to be far from appealing. I had my 1 year internship and NYSC in government hospitals (Military and then Police Hospitals) cos i was going to have ample time for business and myself (9am-2pm working hours) and the pay was far better than private hospitals.

I finished these two programmes and barely a month after, got married. All the while, i had done a self assessment and knew that the probability of my practising pharmacy was very low. I got a few job offers but they weren’t quite what i wanted, so i went to french school, picked up my beadmaking business which i had neglected for a while and generally got busy.

Along the line, vacancies were sent out at Police Medical Services where i served for Doctors, Pharmacists, etc . I never considered applying cos i thought, ‘Olopa ke? i.e. “Me, go do police?” As far as i was concerned, the police was stigmatised and i didn’t want to be a part of the mess. I thought of what my friends who worked in big, nice sounding companies would say, it was for sure they would be amused, how relevant would i still be among my professional friends?…and so on. As i was telling myself no way for police, another thought came to my mind. It was the picture of Dora and the impact she was making in NAFDAC as a pharmacist. I then reconsidered things and told myself i would join the force and make a difference, the decision gave me a good feeling but police? Naa; coupled with this however, i got serious encouragements from my parents, my boss who supervised me during NYSC there and colleagues; they highlighted the benefits of the job especially the ‘job security’and the fact that i could do without coming to work in the ‘black and black’ uniform so most people don’t need to know i work with the police! (A typical case of eating my cake and having it!), moreso, jobs were scarce. I got convinced and picked the form and waited.

Summarily, i’ll say that the interviews spanned through 1 whole year (about 4 of them) and they all took place in Abuja. Eventually, i made the final list and was told to come for an accreditation exercise to confirm my data and get an official code. This exercise was scheduled to take place on the due delivery date of my little angel, so i didn’t go.It took place in Kano and my younger sister offered to go there to fix things for me. She got back and said we should expect a message on when we’ll commence work. I went to the Lagos office some months later but was told things were on hold. It’s been over 2 years now and nobody that went through the process has resumed (little wonder we haven’t resolved many of the killing cases). Fortunately for me though, i changed jobs recently and i’m doing something i’m passionate about, i’m having fun.

Last week Friday while i was at work, i got a call from a lady who we served together at the Police hospital saying that forms were out for the same positions as the ones we had applied for and done interviews for, over 2 years ago! Registration was meant to be on-line and i checked their website as soon as i dropped her call- it was under maintenance. She called me about 3 times within 5 minutes to find out if i had downloaded the forms and printed them out.I was shocked and couldn’t believe that this lady would still consider going through another round of stress, risk and uncertainty. It’s so glaring to me that it wasn’t worth it afterall, i would rather do what i enjoy than enter a system cos it promises security. Are they worth it? Do you think it makes sense to pick up my plan of making a difference in the force? I bet i have every reason to say again today, ‘OLOPA KE?’ No way o!