TOPSIE

Have you ever taken time to read a marriage vow before? Before I got married, i had attended scores of weddings where the bride and groom went through the ‘tradition’ of taking their marriage vows and at a point, i could recite most of the lines of the marriage vows by heart.

I was speaking with some guys some days ago and one of them asked one of his friends why he was not yet married. He said he was not yet ready, he then asked him what it takes to be ready. I watched and listened as they chatted on. This afternoon, it struck my heart that what he, as well as other guys/ladies need to understand is the meaning and expectations of marriage itself.

Oct 25, 2003, I walked down the aisle with my friend of over 10 years. As I made to repeat the vow after the pastor, my mind raced as the reality of the words dawned on me. If I had gotten married to just anyone, i would have been stuck for life. My readers, you have the opportunity of reading this marriage piece, either as a rehearsal if you’ve found your spouse or as a check for you to think again about that person you want to vow before God for life to.

A typical marriage speech and exchange of vows go like this:

Marriage is an act of faith and a personal commitment as well as a moral and physical union between two people. Marriage has been described as the best and most important relationship that can exist between them. It is the construction of their love and trust into a single growing energy of spiritual life. It is a moral commitment that requires and deserves daily attention. Marriage should be a life long consecration of the ideal of loving kindness – backed with the WILL to
make it last.

This relationship stands for love, loyalty, honesty and trust, but most of all for friendship. Before they knew love, they were friends, and it was from this seed of friendship that is their destiny.

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God – and in the face of this company – to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore – is not by any – to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly – but REVERENTLY, DISCREETLY, ADVISEDLY and SOLEMNLY. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

Marriage is the union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind. It is intended for their mutual joy – and for the help and comfort given on another in prosperity and adversity. But more importantly – it is a means through which a stable and loving environment may be attained.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. With my body, i honor you and with all my worldly goods, i bestow to you. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

Are you ready? You really don’t need more time, all you need do is make the decision to go ahead, knowing that marriage is something God is excited about. There are some blessings that are exclusively for the married who do it God’s way. So, what are you waiting for? Start marrying now