A few weeks ago, i overheard a neighbor of mine talking with my hubby outside the house when he went to pick something from the car. Their discussion seemed to have lingered for so long that i wondered if he remembered that we were running late for service; after some time i had to go out dressed to say hi to the neighbor so my hubby could see he was the one delaying us; and sure, he got the message

We got talking afterwards and i wondered what kept the man’s voice up and made him talk so passionately and he said the guy said he had since stopped going to church because many “men of God” were living false lives. He said he had run into some of them with their secretaries or some lady in hotels and so on; he spoke about misappropriation of funds, the fact that some members were practicing idolatry because they accorded too much awe to their pastors who wielded/had too much control over them, etc. He therefore said he decided not to go to church anymore, but to always practice the principle of always being thankful to God.

Do you know what struck me most about what this man said? It’s not so much different from what many Christians say as well. Many people are critical. It’s not necessarily because they’re sinless/faultless, but because of the need to justify their inadequacies in the face of a worse person’s issues. Such a man had no business being critical/judgmental; what if the man of God he saw at the hotel came for a meeting in the hotel lobby and not what he thought? What if it was what he thought? What if those men of God were fake? Same for Christians; we need to look at Jesus’ approach to sinners, he addressed the sin but showed compassion. It’s tough, but it’s the life we’ve been called to live. We grow as Christians when we see ourselves as work in progress and correct people in love. Of course, there are times when you need to go the hard way on some. But our motivation should be love, not nosing around for people’s faults and criticizing them. Jesus showed us by example; these same things were the things the Pharisees, who knew the bible, did by default, criticize! And we all do it, in different measures.

I once heard about a Muslim guy who got saved and started attending a church only for him to one day, find the pastor of the church on top of his fiancée! That same day, he renounced Christ and went back to the mosque…hmm. That was a very sad story. Does it change God’s standards? He’ll need to have a chat with God about that when the time comes. Does the wrongdoing of the Christian leader license us to misbehave? We’ll stand one by one with God, and he’ll deal with us individually based on the level/degree of our walk with him vs what we made out of it as regards the quality of life we lived.

Can we be less critical on others and work on becoming better? Can we seize from giving excuses of other people’s issues as the reason why we’re not at our best? Are we qualified to throw the first stone? Are we qualified to judge?

Happy Easter to you all. I believe we had a restful holiday. I did, cos i needed it. I came across this article in last week and decided to add the lessons learnt and share it with all my readers. Am sure you’ll find it very good.

One summer day, two men and their wives went fishing on a well known lake. They had a boat and some of the finest equipments, and were looking forward to a good catch. They fished for several hours, but hadn’t gotten as much as one bite so they decided to return home. It intrigued them however, to see a small boy on the shore pulling in one fish after another. Curiously, one of the women walked over to the little boy to find out just how he was catching all those fish. The little fellow, happy to explain his success pointed to an old rotten log. “There are lots of worms under that log”, he replied, and they make good bait, “although they bite your hand a bit when you put them on the hook. Help yourself; there are plenty of them”.

Lifting up the log the woman looked, and there, to her surprise, she saw not worms, but a nest of dozens of poisonous baby copperhead ’snakes’. “Those aren’t worms, they’re copperheads!” She called to the boy, “let me look at your hands”.

The boy’s hand was covered with tiny bites and already were beginning to swell from the poison. They rushed him to the doctor, who injected some anti-venom serum and the boy’s life was saved. The doctor estimated that the amount of poison from the little bites actually equaled the bite of a full grown copperhead, another hour and it would have been too late!

 This little boy was very innocently handling the snakes, not realizing that they were poisonous. They were actually destroying him. He was using them to his own advantage, so he thought, but they would have caused his death. Many people today are innocently living their lives, not hurting anyone else, yet completely unaware that sin in their lives is destroying them……

A major underlining factor that almost caused this little boy his life was ignorance. Ignorance is deadly, more deadly than most diseases. It’s important that we seek knowledge, and regularly update our knowledge base. We also need to commit to a habit of seeking knowledge. We need to ask the experience and successful, so we can have an easier journey. Knowledge arms us against harm.

Also, this boy readily shared the “secret of his success” with the woman that approached him. That act of “giving” turned around to preserve his life. If he had kept it all to himself, he would’ve died cheaply. So, even though he was harming himself unknowingly, he offered advice to people who also wanted to make a headway.

The boy also used the “worms” to his advantage; there’s nothing wrong with this, but we need to find out if our actions align with godly principles and values, e.g. using people to our advantage…

So, i’ll like to encourage you all to commit to getting knowledge and sharing it. May wisdom and knowledge preserve you this month as you apply yourself to it. They say “common sense achieves common results”; let’s step up our game so we can be preserved and get outstanding results. Welcome to the month of April!

How often have you heard the saying, “Time Changes people?” I decided to take a good look at that saying and concluded that it’s not absolutely true. It’s the experiences that a person has over time that changes them. Some people get bolder and more courageous based on experiences they’ve had that made them feel as if they were taken advantage of; and some people get more “subdued” and more careful based on experiences they’ve had in which what they said perpetually put them into trouble. Some people however, learn to speak with more caution and tact.

I remember when i was much younger; especially in my early teenage years, I and my mum hardly agreed about our perspectives towards many things. We had perpetual issues and it took me a long time to discover why; am sure it took her a long while too. Our temperaments are veeeery different, like north and south pole In fact, it was as if she spoke purposely to hurt me. I was so quiet and withdrawn and she was always irritated by the fact that i kept so much to myself. I on the other hand, felt “disturbed” that she went on and on about my not talking and so on. Slowly, she began to understand that my temperament was very much like her husband’s who she had grown used to for almost 2 decades then. Why do i say that? She began to give excuses for me as per my actions or the lack of it. Then, i began to see her in another light; along the line, i came across materials which made me see and appreciate our differences. It was a “long” period of discovery but we’re both better for it today. Infact, we’re very close now.

Along the line, she had a relationship with God which has grown over the years and this has also helped her develop a spirit controlled temperament. She’s got few but Godly, value driven and principled  friends. Today, i look back at my mum and appreciate the fact that her relationships, several experiences she’s had, at home, work, business, with in-laws, siblings and so on have shaped her into the person she is today, very much experienced and a woman of much fewer words that are full of wisdom.

We’re all work in progress, and need to appreciate every phase we’re in as contributing to a better us. The delays, the pressures, the frustrations, the anxieties, all constitute the fire that makes us set into being the final artwork, which God intends to be a masterpiece, His masterpiece.

So, there are 2 key things we must not lose sight of, always:

1) A healthy relationship with God: This is the only dependable, infallible option which shapes us inside out, inspite of our experiences.

2) Healthy, Godly relationships and friendships; these determine the quality of counsel we’ll get when in need, and therefore the quality of decisions and actions we take.

Therefore; time is a function of who we’re rolling with which affect our experiences and ultimately, our story. It’s so funny that our “story” is a combination of how we spend each day. I was gisting with a friend recently who told me that if he had worked and stayed around the people who he grew up with (that would’ve been his direction, by default); he was almost very sure that his life, by now, would have been messed up. Time changes people, yes, but what’s happening during that time?

Finally, my site is back! First, i must apologize to my friends that have been trying to access my site for some time. Am so sorry. Now my site is back, and with a new, less boring look. Welcome to the new, improved, topeakinyemi.com.

To get things rolling, i’ll post an article from Deoluakinyemi.com. It captures more accurately my experience in the last vacation i had barely a week ago. It was indeed simply amazing. Read on…..

It’s been unduly long since I wrote, I’ve been on a hectic vacation schedule, and it has been difficult to spare 1hr in front of my computer and realy write something to my taste. My mind has beeen shifting back and forth on different topics. I’ve been mostly on the move as well, so there is a load of information that I have recieved on these amazing 7 days on the exotic laps of luxury. It’s exciting enjoying the vacation that others only dream about, take my word for it, tourism is higher education. This year seems an adventure already, courtesy of Holidays and Cash, we’ll be doing Sun City this month as well, Spain around the corner, Thailand and Las Vegas. Don’t die in the rut of running a marathon race with your life, rather enlist in a relay race, and enjoy your life.

There are quite a number of topics struggling for priority attention in my mind. I will simply write about them all, and then do the diligence of expanding the write-up as passion becomes available. I will jump from topics that don’t seem connected, but the thread that will join them all together are valuable wisdom nuggets that we can take away and add to our lives. Welcome through the lenses of my eyes, lightly tinted by my development bias into the world of India. With 36 million gods and religions, a population above 1 billion, host community of one of the wonders of the world – The Taj Mahal and rich historical content, I welcome you to Incredible India!

Five Star Service

Experiencing a few days in the Galaxy Hotel in New Delhi, redefined service for me. Experiencing the treatment of the staff of this hotel, made it apparent that 5 stay was not only about the building and the structure of the rooms. It wasn’t only about having a massager in one’s room, or having a real Jacuzzi and enjoying bubble baths. 5 star was very much the building as well as the service. The average scenery in India is worse than what you’ll see on Nigerian streets, they are many, and many are poor. Once you step into the hotel however you are in a different world. The staff don’t watch you passby, they literally stand up to greet you at your instance. Extremely respectful and helpful, it’s difficult to know who calls the shots among them. At the dining, you are chocked with support, they want you to be pleased like their job depended on it. It’s like every minute counts or like someone is always watching them. Getting to Agra and lodging in the JP Hotel was another 5 star treatment, 5hrs away from New Delhi and it confirmed to me that 5 star was matched with 5 star treatment, irrespective of location. Are you offering your clients 5 star service?
 
36 Million gods

I felt it was riddiculous when I was told that there are as much as 36 million gods in India. Doesn’t that mean that every group of 30 people have one god each? It’s amazing how the indians have converted almost any form into a god. I have never seen cows as well fed and chubby as the ones in India. They don’t eat cows because for supplying milk for children they are seen as gods. In India, you can’t kill a cow . I also heard that if you do too many miracles as a pastor in India, you can be made one of their gods . Thinking deeply about having so many gods however brought me to take a look back to my country. In this age of “my pastor said”, this age of “my man of God”, are we also not having close to 36 million god forms? In India they worship all forms, but many of our people have reneged their powers of thought and their personal walks with God, with the idolatory of keeping their eyes on men rather than on God. Idolatory in the 21st century is not necessarily bowing before a golden calf. Idolatory is the process of idolizing anything – a Sportsman, an entertainer, a pastor, a car, money – anything. Whatever wins you place your pedestal and wins your time and attention is becoming a god to you. Idolatory is stealing God’s glory. Whatever you refer to for what God ought to be refered to, is an idol. What are your idols?

Transgenerational Achievement

I don’t know if it’s coincidence that the bible talks about wise men from the east (Asia). It seems that Asians are wise indeed. One thing that stands in your face if you care to pay attention, is how families have been able to hand over their businesses down generations. I met quite a number of people whose businesses were what was handed down to them across 2 or more generations. We met an artist whose works is simply beyond this world, a concept called needing painting. The artist uses needles and threads of different colours to create 

a picture that looks like a painting and is at times three dimensional (Trust me, you need to see it to fully grasp this). What I find extrememly interesting is that 4 generations after, the great grand children have added education to thiers and are taking over the baton from their fathers. Even in a shop full of gift items, you hear the 50+ year old shop owner proudly telling you that his grandfather sold in the same shop in 1950. It’s not only big companies that should have succession plans, even small shops can. Once we get it right in a small model, it won’t be difficult to make happen on the bigger base. A wise man leaves an inheritance for his Childrens children. What are you building that will outlive you? Your job will not! Don’t push this thought till tomorrow, start building something today, and build them on the right values. The only house that will stand the test of time, is the one built upon the solid rock.

Love or Immortality?

There is a theme I’m seeing these days, it seems to me, that the themes that make up the greatest tourist attractions in the world have to do with either love or immortality. One would think that the pyramids of Egypt were economic monuments, they are not. They are tombs that someone who wanted some form of immortality built. If you haven’t seen the pyramids, this might not bite so hard on your mind, but trust me, these monster structures are so big, it’s difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that it’s merely a tomb! The pyramids are getting mileage off of immortality. The Burj Dubai is a demonstration of love, it was designed to be the tallest building in the world, shaped like a felt pen. It was a gift between the Abu Dhabi Emirate and the Dubai Emirate. It’s mileage is off of Love. Taj Mahal however combined these two in an interesting way. The Taj Mahal is simply a tomb that man (Emperor Shah Jahan) built for the wife he loved the most. History has it that this was the only wife that gave him children, and the wife died during the childbirth of the 14th child. The Taj mahal was built to be the final resting place of his beloved wife. The Taj Mahal is a monsterous marble structure with 4 gates that are also major construction works. The symmetery in the architecture is thrilling. According to a popular myth 20,000 people worked relentlessly for 16 years to build the Taj Mahal and their hands were all dismembered so that the can never build another one like it. 2-4 million people visit the Taj Mahal annually. Men made themselves relevant beyond their times by building physical monuments. Today is our turn to build, and we can build physically, economically even spiritually. When the curtains draw on time, and the gap between now and eternity is bridged, what will you have lived for? In what ways will your sacrifices of love be felt, and what themes are going to surround your immortality.
 

Namaste!

The Indians put their hands together in front of them like a prayer clap, bow down their heads and say Namaste. It means, I’m bowing to the divine power on your inside. Everyone of us has a seed of greatness in us. This seed has within it the harvest of many possibilities. You are guaranteed to be great, to be big to be mighty upon the earth. Except this seed however takes the risk of losing itself and follows it’s intuition to do that for which it was made, it will abide alone. In closing to you today, I say Namaste!

I thought seriously as i read the story of this very young couple. It seems to be appearing commonplace to find this kind of scenarios in today’s world. Marriage seems not to be sacred anymore, but a function of convenience or the lack of it.

This couple had been married for about a year and they were already seperated. Their seperation seemed so inreconciliable as there were no meetings or communications to make this happen. The marriage was blessed with a son.

Some months before they got married, the guy had travelled out of his regular station for an outside posting as an engineer, and he was meant to be there for 3months. It was during this outside posting that he met this beautiful lady. She was also working in the sister company where the guy had been posted. They seemed to get along well, and one thing led to another. The chemistry got so strong that they became sexually intimate. Two weeks before the guy was to go back to his base, the lady gave him the good news….she was carrying his baby! This guy was overwhelmingly confused when he heard the news and thought fast about what he could do to cover his tracks. He was morally upright and was even a youth pastor in his home church and even in his University days. Having a lady pregnant for him outside wedlock was a No, No.

As soon as he got back home, he approached his pastor and close confidant who told him not to go ahead with marrying the lady. He couldn’t care less about what they both said. He had a reputation to protect. They could always work on the marriage, he thot. At least, they were both “christians”; moreso, there was no time for “too much thinking and analysis”. So he made quick arrangements to meet the lady’s parents and within a few weeks, they got married. About 4 months after their wedding, she put to bed and real life began. They began to have heated arguments on flimsy issues; the real people in both of them began to show up and each party became more and more intolerant of the other. Things grounded to a halt one day when the wife walked out of the marriage with their only child.

He waited and thought she would be back by that evening. She didn’t show up. Two days, three days, she was nowhere to be found. He went to her friends place and they claimed they didn’t know where she was. He travelled several hours to the parents village and they became hostile to him, telling him he had treated their daughter poorly. He pleaded, explained, cajoled. Things went back and forth, and he wasn’t allowed to see her or even his baby! All this drama went into weeks and then months! As we speak, both of them have been apart and out of communication for about 6months. The families later saw the deadlock and tried to sort things out but the wife wasn’t ready to make peace. Because of her sturrbboness, even he became irritated and was convinced that he had made a huge mistake by marrying her.

He sat down and thought about all that had happened and the different decisions he made that landed him into the “mess” he was in. He thought seriously about what his pastor told him before he went into the marriage. He thought about the hundreds of people who looked up to him and he could have caused to stumble by “Marrying to cover up/make up for his mistake”. He longed for a fresh, clean start.

Now let’s take a look at what lessons we need to learn.

1) When we have erred, it’s noble to admit, get God’s forgiveness and start afresh. If there’s a child involved, take responsibility and look forward to the future with hope.

2) Have people or at least one person you listen or are accountable to; someone who serves a check and can call you to order.

3) Define your relationships early especially when it has to do with the opposite gender. It shows discipline and responsibility.

4) Be willing, even when we have gone far from God to do things right again, even for the sake of people whose destinies are tied to yours. Share your story, it will remind people that it’s not worth it making decisions without God’s word as the standard.

I trust this will help someone. “One error is enough; don’t cover it up with another”. Have a fantastic week!

Hello friends, i had to tell myself that this post has to come up today unfailingly. It’s been a battle of both my mind and time. Thank God, i made it! It’s no news that the global financial/economic crises is one of the most popular phrases used in these times. It’s also one the most convenient reasons people give when their business are not working well. I was listening to an audio speech yesterday by Noel Woodroffe where he outlined the fact that the crises started long ago, and that it ate gradually into the fabrics of the economy, until it resulted into a breakdown. He analyzed it all and linked the breakdown of systems to a fundamental breakdown in human values (greed). Human beings run systems and can make or mar them.

These days, there is so much focus on acquiring material things, having the comfort of life, and because of that, pressure is so high that it makes people think less of the implication of compromising on their values. It makes so much sense to dress, and “have” the things that make you look the part of a “big boy”.

What are the possible effects of these things on a marriage? Men are naturally egocentric and some men will not want their wives to know in many cases, for example, that they’re under financial pressure. Most pressure that one is in financially per time is self induced. It makes absolutely no sense to try and make a statement by the things you acquire. One of the major sources of marital pressures is finance, and this topic is huge.

How does one minimize financial pressures in marriage? I’ll mention the good old saying, “Get out- (or stay out) of debt”. There are lots of issues that come with financial pressure. “Owe no man anything except love” and “the borrower is the slave to the lender” are not just good ideas. There are some good times to owe (for business purposes) but definitely not for consumables. I see people who use certain phones or cars which they clearly can’t afford, why such pressure? I see guys who spend precious time going after big deals when even clearly, small deals are stretching for them….is this still ego or something else? When a man’s goals are too overwhelming for him, someone (most times, the wife) will bear the brunt of the pressure. It makes sense to build wealth gradually, so that if a downturn comes, one can build again.

When there is such pressure, some financial choices need to be made, and the bottomline needs to be, to ensure that one’s expenses fall below income; this is a vital lessons that young married people need to learn and remind themselves of constantly. Love can be expressed much easily when financial pressure is low, and ladies, we need to be sensitive and know when our men are under pressure, and strive not also be a source of it.

I took a little time off two weeks ago and it was quite refreshing. During the short vacation, the thought of writing this post came to my mind. It was probably fuelled by a movie i watched a while ago titled, “He’s not that into you”. Among other things that are noteworthy in the movie, i’ll basically focus on one: the movie showcased how the female folk outrightly evade the truth by constantly lie to themselves and each other. I am a woman, and i see it happen a lot around. Of course, not all women do it, but i think a good number, do.I’ll take a few hypothetical examples/scenarios to explain my point. Let’s take a look at dressing. A lady wears something that she feels really excited about, and it’s either clearly a fashion blunder or too revealing. But because she feels really cool about the attire (moreso, it’s in vogue) and her friends don’t want to hurt her, they concur that it’s really “cool”. It’s also not very common to find a lady who has made a mistake in a particular area open up enough to warn her friend who is about making the same mistake not to do so, especially in matters of love and relationship.

I’ll take another sensitive example/scenario. A lady who seems to have been having issues with relating well with people (probably snobbish, harsh/too blunt because of her temperament) is still unmarried at a relatively late age, and her friends do nothing for her by way of advice and caution when necessary; rather, they talk behind her, about how she has been “chasing away suitors/toasters” with her “repulsive personality”.

A number of ladies make relationship choices that will obviously do them more harm than good, and their best friends  who can see this, say nothing in the name of not wanting to destroy a relationship. Even if she doesn’t heed your warning, it will be clear that you warned her ahead. I am not castigating the ladies. I’m just saying we will achieve more when we are more protective of each other by speaking out to help before it’s late. I know we are emotional. But seeing the truth and not saying it as it is, when it concerns people we love and making that timely, thinking we’re protecting them from hurt does far more harm than good . As friends, we need to take the risk of losing a friendship by saying and staying with the truth.
Sisters, friendship is about accountability and responsibility, else, what we’ll have is shallow and superficial friendship (acquitanceship). Have a nice week ahead, and remember, be your sister’s keeper!

It’s indeed been a while. I can’t begin to state the things that have been my major preoccupation of late, but in all, God has given me grace and capacity to handle them all. Today, i’ll talk to the ladies, because i’ve come to discover that they’re the more influential gender than the men, right?For the average girl, marriage looks like the next logical thing after graduation, youth service, a few yrs of working, a masters program (for the very career oriented ones); hence, there’s no proper understanding of this subject of marriage and so, no conscious preparation is made for this new phase of life. Ladies expect that once the basic things are in place for the guy – love for God, vision, values, blah blah blah, “things will just flow” and so, when things don’t “just flow”, they begin to wonder what went wrong.

A while ago, i was speaking with a lady who was engaged to be married, and she had read so many books, she was so informed, i was tripped! Before i got married, i did my own fair share of reading as well, but everything seemed to have disappeared when i got married….lol. Then i decided to start reading again. But then, i thought of this one thing, that i was married to one man and all i needed to do was to understand that one man and make the relationship between the both of us fantastic. Books help, but the decision to understand and be able to manage your spouse is by far more important. I started asking my husband questions i wanted to clarify, and we communicated about every single thing, and the bond between the both of us became stronger. I had to remind myself that this marriage was between the two of us and for it to be excellent, our lives had to be poured into each other; we had to each “leave our comfort zone and go the extra mile for each other”. I hear people say, “i can’t do that for him/her”, says who? If not him/her, then who?

Is it possible to hold on to some of the things that you believed “that’s how i am” and have a successful marriage? I’ll say an emphatic NO. A lady asked me, “will that not be pretending to be who i am not?”. I asked her “who are you?” The current “YOU” is a product of experiences over the years, and this current “YOU” is still work in progress and if the things that you need to do to have a healthy happy home don’t clash with your faith and values, then NIKE! Just do it! You’ve got at least 30years to practice these new things that will add spice and flavour to your marriage and life, and am sure after a few years, those things would’ve been a part of you.

I didn’t know MANY things when i newly got married, but one thing that helped was the fact that i listened, asked questions, and was willing to learn. As a woman, if you listen more than you speak, you stand the chance of a good marriage.

Some women might be quick to say am being unfair, and that it’s not purely a man’s world. I like to be true to myself. Show me a woman who fights with her husband for independence and a voice in her home, and i’ll show you one with a near broken down home. I’ll also say as i round up emphatically that it’s not a sin to remain single. If you can’t cope with the demands and sacrifices that come with being married, then by all means, enjoy your freedom as a single; afterall, God will not penalize us for not being married when we die. This article is simply for people who truly desire a fantastic marriage and i’ll encourage you to give it your best shot, prepare to go into marriage with an “open, ready to give and learn” mind. Your home will create the environment where those lofty goals will either blossom or be snuffed out. You owe it to yourself to be prepared for it, because when you do, you can have the world at your feet!

Have a great week!

As last week started, i looked forward to the public holiday on Friday, Democracy day, i had planned to do a little shopping and lounge for the rest of the day; fortunately/unfortunately on thursday afternoon, i got an impromptu call to speak in a church at 9am the next day, which was meant to be the public holiday. I was first told it was winners, then it was clarified to be MFM. My heart did a quick somersault as i wondered how i would do it. I trusted God and decided to go all the same. I got there and flowed with the program and at the aloted time, i got up to speak. I spoke on Effective Goal Setting. It was a great program, there were lots of questions after which showed they followed me all the way. Looking back, it was a much better way of spending the day; instead of lounging, i was able to add value.

This article is a bouquet so i’ll like to also write on something i’ve noticed in the course of relating with diverse people on a regular basis. Last week, children’s day to be precise, i was at the Fun place with my kids and the place was packed full with kids and parents. As i took my children to play one of the major games, i heard a lady, who i recognised as a nollywood actress cursing one of her children at the top of her voice. What first caught my attention was the pitch of her voice, then the content. I wondered at the damage on the child’s self esteem; i wondered if she could not even hold her cutting words till they got home; i wondered what the child would’ve done to have warranted such harshness, moreso, the child was in the very midst of other kids, i wondered….

I looked at her as she spoke. She never for once looked around or tried to keep her voice down or even care much about the fact that she’s a public figure. Then i discovered that it had nothing to do with all the fame and status. It had everything to do with her background/upbringing which had informed who she had grown up to become; that was her in action, she was being ‘herself’ which was clearly a function of where she was coming from. She was most likely treated harshly anywhere and everywhere by her parent(s) and was playing back the script. She was all dressed and decked up and the kids didn’t look loved and cared for….i might be wrong about her, but the principle, “Hurting people hurt others” seemed so real as i studied what i saw.

I’ve met people exhibit behaviors i have found appalling but which they find normal. Survey shows that family background more than talent or many other things affect the way a person turns out eventually. The growing up environment has to be right for the person to turn out right. So when i meet people with weird perspectives, i excuse them in advance because we definitely passed through different routes (Otolorin) before we arrived at where we are today. Such people who exhibit dysfunctional behaviors however need reorientation so they can become balanced.

Love never fails. Any action that has love as an undertone never fails in achieving great results. We’re surrounded daily by such people who do not even have an accurate knowledge of what’s wrong or right. We need to show love and give direction, and help others live right and achieve success. We need to be patient enough to find out why people act the way they do, and lovingly help them come out so they can be the best they should be. We can’t help everyone, but posterity won’t forgive us if we don’t help as many as we can.

Make up your mind this new month, that love will be the motivation behind your action or response. Showing love is tough, but love never fails. Have a fantastic month ahead!

Two months ago, i lost an uncle; my Dad’s elder brother who was buried last week. He was a man of numerous achievements and status especially in the academia. Top people attended the funeral and for the first time in my life, i saw elderly men breaking down in tears.

This uncle of mine had a son and three daughters and all are married except one. At the commendation service, the son spoke about his father and i found his story truly inspiring. His Dad was quite soft spoken
but firm but their mum was(is) fire! The son said his father had never raised a hand against his mum even when he was justified to do so.

There was a day however, that he came really close to doing that. He caught himself and the children were around and some had seen it all. He then called and apologized to his children for what he had come so
close to doing and explained to them that such will not happen ever again.

The son was particularly touched by that action so much so that he mentioned the incident at his burial; he then made a vow in the presence of everyone present, especially his in laws and on behalf of his siblings, that they would not lay their against their wives even if they were justified to; and that they would uphold the legacy their dad had passed down to them. He said his respect for his dad doubled by virtue of that experience. There were so many great things they had to say about their dad and his role in their lives as a father and friend.

Apart from the fact that men need to be careful not to marry wives who will infuriate them to the point of wife battery; many people, and very importantly, parents are not humble enough to admit their errors. How quick are we to apologize?

Another thing i have to write about his story is the fact that the people closest to him had exceptional things to say about him, especially his children. Most times, familiarity makes people take advantage of people closest to them, and makes them treat family and very close friends with less devotion and love. There’s a proverb in my language that “It’s from afar that friendship is sweet”; but I dare say that it’s not friendships/relationships that go sour, it’s the people who renege on their commitment/responsibility along the line. I’d like to ask the husbands what your wife would say about you and your role as a husband 20 years from now? Parents, what would your children say about you when they’re old enough to stand on their own? Friends, what will your friends say about you when the years have gone by after series of challenges and triumphs?

There’s a quote i saw again recently which i found touching, it says:

“God is more interested in what I am than what I do; that’s why we’re called human beings, not human doings”

The bible states clearly that it’s better to attend funerals than weddings. I think it’s because they give us the opportunity to evaluate our lives and better prepare ourselves for eternity. I’d rather work on being the best i can for God and for my world than chasing shadows. I want my tombstone to read what i was and not what i did or acquired; and it requires continously adding value and leaving a lasting legacy.