A few weeks ago, i overheard a neighbor of mine talking with my hubby outside the house when he went to pick something from the car. Their discussion seemed to have lingered for so long that i wondered if he remembered that we were running late for service; after some time i had to go out dressed to say hi to the neighbor so my hubby could see he was the one delaying us; and sure, he got the message

We got talking afterwards and i wondered what kept the man’s voice up and made him talk so passionately and he said the guy said he had since stopped going to church because many “men of God” were living false lives. He said he had run into some of them with their secretaries or some lady in hotels and so on; he spoke about misappropriation of funds, the fact that some members were practicing idolatry because they accorded too much awe to their pastors who wielded/had too much control over them, etc. He therefore said he decided not to go to church anymore, but to always practice the principle of always being thankful to God.

Do you know what struck me most about what this man said? It’s not so much different from what many Christians say as well. Many people are critical. It’s not necessarily because they’re sinless/faultless, but because of the need to justify their inadequacies in the face of a worse person’s issues. Such a man had no business being critical/judgmental; what if the man of God he saw at the hotel came for a meeting in the hotel lobby and not what he thought? What if it was what he thought? What if those men of God were fake? Same for Christians; we need to look at Jesus’ approach to sinners, he addressed the sin but showed compassion. It’s tough, but it’s the life we’ve been called to live. We grow as Christians when we see ourselves as work in progress and correct people in love. Of course, there are times when you need to go the hard way on some. But our motivation should be love, not nosing around for people’s faults and criticizing them. Jesus showed us by example; these same things were the things the Pharisees, who knew the bible, did by default, criticize! And we all do it, in different measures.

I once heard about a Muslim guy who got saved and started attending a church only for him to one day, find the pastor of the church on top of his fiancée! That same day, he renounced Christ and went back to the mosque…hmm. That was a very sad story. Does it change God’s standards? He’ll need to have a chat with God about that when the time comes. Does the wrongdoing of the Christian leader license us to misbehave? We’ll stand one by one with God, and he’ll deal with us individually based on the level/degree of our walk with him vs what we made out of it as regards the quality of life we lived.

Can we be less critical on others and work on becoming better? Can we seize from giving excuses of other people’s issues as the reason why we’re not at our best? Are we qualified to throw the first stone? Are we qualified to judge?

Happy Easter to you all. I believe we had a restful holiday. I did, cos i needed it. I came across this article in last week and decided to add the lessons learnt and share it with all my readers. Am sure you’ll find it very good.

One summer day, two men and their wives went fishing on a well known lake. They had a boat and some of the finest equipments, and were looking forward to a good catch. They fished for several hours, but hadn’t gotten as much as one bite so they decided to return home. It intrigued them however, to see a small boy on the shore pulling in one fish after another. Curiously, one of the women walked over to the little boy to find out just how he was catching all those fish. The little fellow, happy to explain his success pointed to an old rotten log. “There are lots of worms under that log”, he replied, and they make good bait, “although they bite your hand a bit when you put them on the hook. Help yourself; there are plenty of them”.

Lifting up the log the woman looked, and there, to her surprise, she saw not worms, but a nest of dozens of poisonous baby copperhead ’snakes’. “Those aren’t worms, they’re copperheads!” She called to the boy, “let me look at your hands”.

The boy’s hand was covered with tiny bites and already were beginning to swell from the poison. They rushed him to the doctor, who injected some anti-venom serum and the boy’s life was saved. The doctor estimated that the amount of poison from the little bites actually equaled the bite of a full grown copperhead, another hour and it would have been too late!

 This little boy was very innocently handling the snakes, not realizing that they were poisonous. They were actually destroying him. He was using them to his own advantage, so he thought, but they would have caused his death. Many people today are innocently living their lives, not hurting anyone else, yet completely unaware that sin in their lives is destroying them……

A major underlining factor that almost caused this little boy his life was ignorance. Ignorance is deadly, more deadly than most diseases. It’s important that we seek knowledge, and regularly update our knowledge base. We also need to commit to a habit of seeking knowledge. We need to ask the experience and successful, so we can have an easier journey. Knowledge arms us against harm.

Also, this boy readily shared the “secret of his success” with the woman that approached him. That act of “giving” turned around to preserve his life. If he had kept it all to himself, he would’ve died cheaply. So, even though he was harming himself unknowingly, he offered advice to people who also wanted to make a headway.

The boy also used the “worms” to his advantage; there’s nothing wrong with this, but we need to find out if our actions align with godly principles and values, e.g. using people to our advantage…

So, i’ll like to encourage you all to commit to getting knowledge and sharing it. May wisdom and knowledge preserve you this month as you apply yourself to it. They say “common sense achieves common results”; let’s step up our game so we can be preserved and get outstanding results. Welcome to the month of April!

How often have you heard the saying, “Time Changes people?” I decided to take a good look at that saying and concluded that it’s not absolutely true. It’s the experiences that a person has over time that changes them. Some people get bolder and more courageous based on experiences they’ve had that made them feel as if they were taken advantage of; and some people get more “subdued” and more careful based on experiences they’ve had in which what they said perpetually put them into trouble. Some people however, learn to speak with more caution and tact.

I remember when i was much younger; especially in my early teenage years, I and my mum hardly agreed about our perspectives towards many things. We had perpetual issues and it took me a long time to discover why; am sure it took her a long while too. Our temperaments are veeeery different, like north and south pole In fact, it was as if she spoke purposely to hurt me. I was so quiet and withdrawn and she was always irritated by the fact that i kept so much to myself. I on the other hand, felt “disturbed” that she went on and on about my not talking and so on. Slowly, she began to understand that my temperament was very much like her husband’s who she had grown used to for almost 2 decades then. Why do i say that? She began to give excuses for me as per my actions or the lack of it. Then, i began to see her in another light; along the line, i came across materials which made me see and appreciate our differences. It was a “long” period of discovery but we’re both better for it today. Infact, we’re very close now.

Along the line, she had a relationship with God which has grown over the years and this has also helped her develop a spirit controlled temperament. She’s got few but Godly, value driven and principled  friends. Today, i look back at my mum and appreciate the fact that her relationships, several experiences she’s had, at home, work, business, with in-laws, siblings and so on have shaped her into the person she is today, very much experienced and a woman of much fewer words that are full of wisdom.

We’re all work in progress, and need to appreciate every phase we’re in as contributing to a better us. The delays, the pressures, the frustrations, the anxieties, all constitute the fire that makes us set into being the final artwork, which God intends to be a masterpiece, His masterpiece.

So, there are 2 key things we must not lose sight of, always:

1) A healthy relationship with God: This is the only dependable, infallible option which shapes us inside out, inspite of our experiences.

2) Healthy, Godly relationships and friendships; these determine the quality of counsel we’ll get when in need, and therefore the quality of decisions and actions we take.

Therefore; time is a function of who we’re rolling with which affect our experiences and ultimately, our story. It’s so funny that our “story” is a combination of how we spend each day. I was gisting with a friend recently who told me that if he had worked and stayed around the people who he grew up with (that would’ve been his direction, by default); he was almost very sure that his life, by now, would have been messed up. Time changes people, yes, but what’s happening during that time?

This title has been on my mind for almost 2 full weeks now; funny enough, certain events came up that made my deciding to write and post the article not the best thing to do. But then, i decided to take a look at the things i had been reminded about gratitude and i told myself it was the more reason why i needed to write about it.

Unlike the conventional meaning of gratitude, i’ll like to share a richer, deeper meaning with us. Gratitude involves the whole process of mental adjustment, of tuning the mind such that the mind is drawn into closer touch with God, from whom all blessings come. That process of mind adjustment and fixation creates a positive atmosphere that can attract only the best. For us to live in a world that is truly limitless in terms of possibilities, our gratitude has to be strong and continous, then, the movement of things we want will be always towards us.

We have heard and we can see already that in 2010, you won’t need to think at all to see reasons to be dissatisfied, if not personally, then, maybe about the nation or any other thing. The moment you permit your mind to dwell with dissatisfaction upon things as they are, you begin to lose ground. Jesus Christ never did without giving thanks before performing any miracle, even when he knew he could perform them. There’s a connection between gratitude and power; the more power you can exercise when you have an attitude of gratitude because your faith is strengthened.

I have decided to make gratitude an anchor for my soul this year so that my faith will be strengthened, and i can attract the things God has already made available to me. When men say there’s a casting down, i’ll say there’s a lifting up for me. So, even though i have a list of goals, i have just one new year goal….maintain an attitude of gratitude (that’s enough work!)

Happy new year!

As last week started, i looked forward to the public holiday on Friday, Democracy day, i had planned to do a little shopping and lounge for the rest of the day; fortunately/unfortunately on thursday afternoon, i got an impromptu call to speak in a church at 9am the next day, which was meant to be the public holiday. I was first told it was winners, then it was clarified to be MFM. My heart did a quick somersault as i wondered how i would do it. I trusted God and decided to go all the same. I got there and flowed with the program and at the aloted time, i got up to speak. I spoke on Effective Goal Setting. It was a great program, there were lots of questions after which showed they followed me all the way. Looking back, it was a much better way of spending the day; instead of lounging, i was able to add value.

This article is a bouquet so i’ll like to also write on something i’ve noticed in the course of relating with diverse people on a regular basis. Last week, children’s day to be precise, i was at the Fun place with my kids and the place was packed full with kids and parents. As i took my children to play one of the major games, i heard a lady, who i recognised as a nollywood actress cursing one of her children at the top of her voice. What first caught my attention was the pitch of her voice, then the content. I wondered at the damage on the child’s self esteem; i wondered if she could not even hold her cutting words till they got home; i wondered what the child would’ve done to have warranted such harshness, moreso, the child was in the very midst of other kids, i wondered….

I looked at her as she spoke. She never for once looked around or tried to keep her voice down or even care much about the fact that she’s a public figure. Then i discovered that it had nothing to do with all the fame and status. It had everything to do with her background/upbringing which had informed who she had grown up to become; that was her in action, she was being ‘herself’ which was clearly a function of where she was coming from. She was most likely treated harshly anywhere and everywhere by her parent(s) and was playing back the script. She was all dressed and decked up and the kids didn’t look loved and cared for….i might be wrong about her, but the principle, “Hurting people hurt others” seemed so real as i studied what i saw.

I’ve met people exhibit behaviors i have found appalling but which they find normal. Survey shows that family background more than talent or many other things affect the way a person turns out eventually. The growing up environment has to be right for the person to turn out right. So when i meet people with weird perspectives, i excuse them in advance because we definitely passed through different routes (Otolorin) before we arrived at where we are today. Such people who exhibit dysfunctional behaviors however need reorientation so they can become balanced.

Love never fails. Any action that has love as an undertone never fails in achieving great results. We’re surrounded daily by such people who do not even have an accurate knowledge of what’s wrong or right. We need to show love and give direction, and help others live right and achieve success. We need to be patient enough to find out why people act the way they do, and lovingly help them come out so they can be the best they should be. We can’t help everyone, but posterity won’t forgive us if we don’t help as many as we can.

Make up your mind this new month, that love will be the motivation behind your action or response. Showing love is tough, but love never fails. Have a fantastic month ahead!

Hello All, i trust this week has been fine. I’ll like to make today’s TGIF post a story that we can identify with and can learn from. It teaches us a fundamental, yet profound truth that can make us live and walk truly free. Here it goes:

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with, out in the woods. He practiced in the woods,but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back to dinner.

As he was walking back, he saw Grandma’s pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let fly, hit the duck square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved. In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch that day grandma said, “Sally, let’s wash the dishes.” But Sally said, “Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today, didn’t you Johnny?” And then she whispered to him, “Remember, the duck?” So Johnny did the dishes.

Later Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing, and Grandma said, “I’m sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.” But Sally smiled and said, “Well, that’s all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help.” And she whispered again, “Remember, the duck?” So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s, he finally couldn’t stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he killed the duck. She knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, “Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing. But because I love you, I forgave you. But I was just wondering how long would you let Sally make a slave of you.”

I don’t know what’s in your past. I don’t know what one past sin the enemy keeps throwing up in your face. But whatever it is, I want you to know something. Jesus Christ was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. But because He loves you, He is ready to forgive you. Perhaps He’s wondering how long you’ll let the enemy make a slave out of you.

The great thing about God is that He not only forgives, but He forgets.

Enjoy the weekend!

I really wanted to post an article for the valentine season, but i was chocked up with work. But not a problem, i always try to ensure that i post articles that are timeless as much as possible.

In the course of speaking with young people over time, i noticed a common denominator in ladies who are in the centre of a complex web, sexually, and by this, i mean, people who have multiple sexual partners and who seem to have sex with any guy they seem to get along well with. That denominator is a background that is starved of genuine love and show of care and affection by their immediate family members, fathers especially. The feeling of lack of love is so strong that some of them remember the last time they received a compliment, a gift, etc from their fathers; some date to as far back as over twenty years ago. It’s amazing.

Last week Friday, it was my daughter, Ireoluwa’s cultural/traditional day in school. She was dressed in Iro & Buba with gele and parents were told to come dressed in traditional as well. So, i and Deolu attended the event and she was ecstatic when she saw us. I wondered if it was not just over 3hrs ago that she left home for school. She was so excited she began to introduce us to her friends and classmates. We left after sometime and went back to work. Later in the evening, when we got back home, she screamed in excitement as she welcomed us, and then, her next statement was that she saw us in her school that day. It was really a big deal for her.

It’s really interesting to note that it’s so easy to make a little child happy, and it’s so easy to hurt them as well. The main thing i want everyone to know, is how far reaching our actions can be to them. Our actions are strong enough to make or destroy their future. Their self worth/esteem is determined by their love or lack of it and points to what kind of lives they’ll eventually live. When i was in primary school, there was this set of siblings who were regularly the last to be picked up after school hours. They had even been forgotten in school a number of times before. To such children, they’re not worth so much. Those seemingly little things count and strengthen or weaken the bond. Those children are not likely to immediately talk to their parents about personal things. Infact, they become too independent too early for their own good.

For the purpose of mentioning, valentine is good, but a lot of what the concept is around is majorly selfish and sensual. We need build the capacity to give love that is constructive, not only to people we know, but those we don’t know. Love is whole, and gives wholeness and healing, let’s not give it wrongly or refuse to give it; when we do, we’re doing much more than we think at that point in time. People have been hurt, are hurting, and so, have thrown caution to the wind, living carelessly. On the eve of valentine’s day, you needed to have seen old men with pot bellies with exotic cars parked in front of choice supermarkets, with girls old enough to be their children, buying gifts and doting over each other! Quite irritating i must say…. The two parties involved are adults and responsible for their actions but those things have repercussions that are not palatable and can be avoided.

Let’s sow the love that we want the returns in many folds into the lives that need them the most and let’s make it habitual, and a way of life. Remember above all things, that God loves you unconditionally and forever (without a time limit). That’s comforting, ain’t it?

Hello Friends, i trust the week has been good for you. Mine was exciting, as my adrenaline level was high as i worked against time to meet deadlines. Pressure is good you know, it wakes up the brain cells! Not so fortunately for me, i have a full weekend ahead of me. It’s all good……

Today, i’ll be introducing a book, a weekly devotional, which was written by a dear friend, Funmi Osinubi-Onamusi. It is the first of its kind i’ve seen. Each week has a practical key lesson aimed at moving you forward in your journey in life, with this devotional, you can learn from the experiences of fellow men and women like you and I who in the midst of common challenges, have chosen to walk God’s path. This lady spent her time and resources to put this together and intends to give the proceeds of the book sale to missions. She’s definitely not about the money, because she has a fantastic job. Life is all about what value we can give.

To ensure you get the best, the book was printed by one of the best in printing in the world. You can get a few copies and give out to loved ones and by so doing, you’re reaching many more with the gospel of Jesus, you can buy it for more than the selling price and preach God’s word from your home or office. I have a few copies with me, if interested, please call 07086958724 or mail me on topsiesuzie@gmail.com, or better still, pick a copy at Generis Solutions, 71 Allen Avenue, Ikeja.

By the way, do you know what JEMIMA means? It means “God’s grace day by day”, and what more do we need in these times? Get your copies now!!!

I won’t do badly in advertising, will I? :-; Have a fantastic weekend!

I have tried to post this article several times but the internet connection kept timing out. However, i was determined to post it today anyway. I have also played with several options of what the title should be, but i guess the end justifies….

Last week, i got a surprise call from an old classmate of mine, who i had not seen or heard from in about 7 years; and the purpose of the call was amusing. He said a friend of his, who used to be our senior in school, now based in the US needed a wife, a “good girl”, preferably someone who studied pharmacy, and his friend who called me, wanted me to link him up with a friend who i highly recommend. I first thought it was a joke until the guy insisted that the guy had been disturbing him with calls!

I really wonder if connecting people doesn’t have the potential of causing more harm than good, in case the relationship turns sour after some time. I honestly try to run away from doing that, especially when i don’t know the two people in the picture.

Statistically, i think there are many more females than males, maybe ratio 3:1, right from child-bearing to the working class and more. I once heard of an all men’s meeting where a survey was done, and it was discovered that about 90% of the children born to them were girls; infact, only one of them had all sons, more than half had all girls and a good percentage had more girls and boys.

There’s a proven scientific way to plan the sex of your baby even before conception, it’s not 100% accurate, but let’s say 80%. You wanna know how? Contact me, and i’ll tell you how, only come with consultancy fee! Who knows? Maybe Obama’s Mama used it before he was conceived, and now, he’s the 44th President of the United States! It would’ve been mega tough if he was born a female….lol

On a serious note, back to our initial discussion, i wonder why, despite the high number of ladies around, you find guys searching hard for wives like a pin in a haystack. Someone even mentioned in a place where i was that “good girls have finished”. I smiled because it wasn’t true and he must have been talking based on his experiences with girls overtime. It’s really a bit scary to think that females with sound character and strong values are hard to find.

No matter the level of decadence, there’s always a “choice” few that still live up to the standard of values and virtue. Every guy, whether deserving of the few or not, fight to get them; afterall, everybody has the freedom of choice. What then can we say?

“He that walks with the wise shall be wise, and a companion of fools shall be destroyed” – Prov. 13:20

Certain ladies, who lived conservatively when they were much younger, grow up and begin to feel they missed out a lot in those days, and so start to do things to make up for “lost time”; hang out with a guy because he speaks “church vocabs” and is a regular at services, they both pray for mercy after every “fornication” experience, he’s not a BAD guy. He’s nice….that’s the commonest thing i hear these days….lol. Who isn’t when they want something?