2009 has been an amazingly peculiar year. Filled with hopes (both dashed and realized ones), challenges, fun, lots of intrigues as well as loads of learnings. I’ve learnt more this year about business than i have in my past 4yrs in the world of business. I’ve had ups, downs, highs and lows; but in all, am grateful to God.

In the course of this year, i’ve met the highest number of new people than any other year; i was opportuned to travel to two fresh countries on vacation, etc. Also, in this year, i lost a loved one, my mother in law. My level of responsibility this year quadrupled and i multitasked seriously at home and at work. There’s an adage in Yoruba that means that “An adult/elderly person who doesn’t get angry is the one with many children”. I have learnt patience more than ever, and a good control 0f my response when am angry. I’ll categorically say that this year, i’ve become a better person.

I’ve learnt to worry less and pray more, i have also learnt the power of saying the promptings that God gives me as i experience them. God leads us so that we will avoid errors and make accurate decisions, i have a few regrets of things that wouldn’t have happened if i had spoken out; but then, i believe God’s word that says that all things work together for good for me….

I have learnt, even though am still working on looking and acting excited in the midst of adverse circumstances. Am working on applying the principle of gratitude in getting results and answers to prayer. I’ve learnt to see challenges as part of the process that makes my success story.

As the year winds up, i count my blessings; study, stay in the place of prayer, stay with visionary and positive people, stay grateful as i look forward to 2010 with excitement. From my level of preparation, and with God’s grace, i see an amazing 2010 ahead.

I’ll wrap up this article with a quote i saw again yesterday, let it drive your actions and motives in the year ahead:

“Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough….give the world the best you’ve got anyway,

You see, in the final analysis, it’s between you and God…..it was never between you and them anyway” – Mother Theresa
Let God be and remain your motivation this new year. It will be worth it; then,and only then can we achieve success that will last.

Can you see i’ve learnt so much? Check out the graduation attire (thank God the carryovers were waivered till 2010, so we made it) and sure, i have a learning partner Happy new year in advance!

I’ve been getting this question quite a lot these days, and I’m ashamed I have to type a fresh mail everytime because there is no document that simply addresses this question. Not anymore, In the next few lines, I’ll explain, how to be a part of the Global Holidays and Cash Family. The questions on why you should be a member are also already answered in the following already written posts.

1.  http://www.deoluakinyemi.com/bankers-ticketing-agents-and-sewing-machines/

2.  http://www.deoluakinyemi.com/spectators-are-less-than-losers/

3.  http://www.deoluakinyemi.com/response-to-a-sincere-letter/

4.  http://www.deoluakinyemi.com/before-its-in-the-news/

5.  http://www.deoluakinyemi.com/where-will-you-be-at-65/

6.  http://www.deoluakinyemi.com/thank-you-dearie/

If you read the above, perhaps it will answer a few of your questions on why you need to be involved with Holidays and Cash, they are not very direct though, so maybe after I have done this, I’ll still do a direct – why you should be involved with Holidays and Cash. For now though, here is how.

Step 1. Pay for your privilege pack prepaid voucher.

Go to any of the Holidays and Cash Banks and Pay a sum of $250 or N40,000 to purhcase a privilege pack. Once you have made payment, keep your teller number and go to www.holidaysandcash.com/vouchers/ni to fill in your details. You can pay for as many prepaid vouchers you want, but you only need one for yourself. Once you have filled the form on the  page of buy prepaid vouchers, you will get a prepaid voucher in your email within 30mins provided the deposit reflects in the account. This step is only required if you don’t have a credit card, if you do have a credit card, you do not need step 1.

Bank Details are available on http://www.holidaysandcash.com/vouchers/ni/cash.html

Step 2. Buy your privilege pack

Buying your privilege pack gives you the right to be an international distributor with Holidays and Cash. The privilege pack is a pack of privileges – Discount Travel, Educational Materials, Wholesale prices on consumer goods e.t.c. To buy the privilege pack, simply access the Holidays and Cash site via the username of your sponsor. This is www.holidaysandcash.com/username. Once this link displays click “Buy Now”. The “buy now” instruction will take you to a registeration page which you are required to complete with all your required information.  Once you complete this form, click submit, you recieve an sms code of your password, it then takes you to where you have an option of paying for your privilege pack. You can pay with credit card, Alertpay, EGP (earnings from H&C) or a prepaid voucher. If you followed the first process (if you are in Nigeria) you can then simply pay with your prepaid voucher.

Step 3: Pay for an already registered member

If for any reason you had done step 2 before step 1, you would need to stop the step 2 process and obtain a prepaid voucher. If you had to do this, you will go back to the site of your sponsor, and click “buy now” again. You will follow the links to pay for the prepaid voucher, but this time around you will select  ”Already Registered Member”, when you select this, it gives you a page with two feilds – username and phone number. Once you fill these 2 with accurate details, it will take you directly to the payment page, where you can now use your prepaid voucher.

It is taking so much for me to start writing this article again because shortly after i finished writing the full article, i lost it because my system went off just before i saved. I trust that i’ll be able to write much more from my heart than i did in the last article now….

For sometime now, it has seemed as if everybody wants me to be a part of all that they want to have done…from immediate to extended family, to colleagues, to business associates, protegees and even acquitances, it seems everyone wants to know what i think, want me to give them some of my time, and so on. It got to a point that it became really overwhelming. It got so much that i started to complain; but quickly enough, i caught myself as i remembered a statement my mother used to make a while ago. She said the reason why it seems like you’re not getting enough rest and everyone is on your neck is because you’re relevant and you should be grateful for that. If you’re a nonentity, you’ll be sooo much on your own that the thought of suicide will be a regular feature on your mind.

How relevant are you? How useful are you? Do your opinions make a difference to your husband and in your family? How instrumental/relevant are you at work? Are you merely there occupying space and collecting salary at the end of the month? Is your company progressing because you’re there? Are your children better because you’re their parent? Are they improving visibly or you’re merely paying their bills? Do you matter to them, do they miss you, do you occupy an indispensable space in their hearts? Are you giving consciously to their future?

Being truly relevant comes with a price. It requires sacrifice, investment of a lot of time and effort. An example is ladies that marry men who are football freaks; the investment they’ll need to make takes time and effort to develop the interest and knowledge. I once met a lady who does not like to read at all and her husband has a room full of books and reads a lot, she just believes that’s where she and her husband do not agree; whether she likes it or not, that single issue will create a limit to how rich their relationship will be.

If you’re busy solving problems and adding value, then it points to the fact that you’re relevant. If your younger sisters want your advice on relationship decisions, then you’re doing something right; if your parents need your input on a decision they want to make, you’re relevant. If to young and old, you can give an input that will matter, the feeling is such that cannot be bought with money.

This is a good time to review how and to who have we been relevant this year. Make that decision, back it up with action, and you’ll be truly sought after because you carry value which makes a difference to many around you.

Happy new month!

I have tried several times to start and finish this article; hopefully, i will do this time. I’ll be sharing some of the thoughts in my mind about women today.
When I hear people, especially men say that women are too complex and very hard to satisfy, i tend to disagree and give an explanation for what i term a “misconception” on their part. But when we take a good look at it, it’s women that are petty and make mountains out of molehills, it’s women that find faults that are almost non existent, it’s women that
keep grudges and wait to get back at you when you least expect; hmmm…it’s women that are usually indecisive about exactly what they want-people may say it’s because they’re emotional and are easily swayed; it’s women that refuse to own up to telling themselves and each other the truth, it’s women that have attitudes and tend to treat fellow women who are not as advantaged as them like lesser beings, the list goes on.

This morning i was talking with a guy who had been in a relationship for a few years and they had their wedding very much in view; infact, both families had met and the formal introduction had taken place. The lady just came one day and said she was no longer interested in the relationship. The guy was shocked and asked her why; she said she
didn’t feel they were compatible, this was after 4yrs! Will we say then that she had not always wanted to break up the relationship as soon as she started because her heart was not in it? Why then did she have to wait for 4yrs?

So much for women! Certainly, women have their peculiarities, but society has aggravated some of the “not so nice” attributes, creating the mindset about expectations of women, so these expectations have created a mould that many just fit into.

So, back to the lady/relationship in focus. This lady probably had a picture of her ideal man in her mind, either it exists for real or in fantasy (lol) and she was probably so consumed with this picture that the guy fell constantly below the standards; she stomached and managed it for 4yrs until she decided she couldnt take it anymore; how very enduring! Ladies, le’s know what we want and be prepared either to wait till we have it (if it’s realistic) or forget about its existence
(if it’s unrealistic). It’s important we make decisions that will make us happy, and make these decisions as early as possible so we can get the best of them.

Before I wrap up this article, i’ll like us to take a quick look at the second paragraph of this article again. If you are a woman, and you have any of the “peculiarities” listed there, decide to be a uniquely different woman, work on yourself, be a role model to younger women, let them know that they don’t have to fit into a mould, they just need to be the best “them”!

I primarily don’t see myself as a woman, but as an individual, working to make “me” the best i can be; cutting off the “not so nice” things so i can be more effective in my roles – as business and career woman, sister, mentor, wife, mother, and more…that helps us to be harder on ourselves so we can change for the better.

I’ve been focusing so much on marriage these past few posts that i have left out the singles, but i guess you also had a lot to learn from the posts as well. So, today is singles’ day

It is very obvious we’re in a world where there is so much pressure, and being a teenager these days as against being a teenager in my own days (which is not a long time ago) are entirely different worlds. Schools have even added to issues by sparing the rod; these days, any child who is disciplined too much in school will have her parent visit the school asap to sort out the issue with the teacher. Things like these have affected the quality of teenagers we have today. I just could not resist the urge of stating that by the way. It just shows that there’s a general breakdown of values and issues have to be approached with urgency.

Apart from the regular hormone gymnastics that characterize teenage years and young adulthood, the media reinforces all kinds of atrocities that it’s fast becoming fashionable but i’ll like to address a
fundamental issue pertaining to the ladies

I have spoken with a number of people and read about people too. There are some ladies who complain that they have been in wrong relationships all their lives. Some others say, it just seems that every guy they
meet wants to have their way with them and move on. If as a lady, this is a normal, regular occurence, you need to look within and ask yourself some very important questions, “Who am i attracting? What types of people am i attracting? What messages am i sending out? What is my body language communicating? What is my cleavage-showing top communicating? What do i want? If you have gotten to a point in which you’re convinced that all men are smooth talkers, liars and cheats, then you need to check yourself, check what you’re feeding your mind with and the kind of people who have the greatest influence on your mindset and lifestyle. Check what the society has sold to you and you have bought. Then you need to begin to drop them and take on the truth.

Some years ago, i attended a cousin’s wedding outside town so we lodged in someones house. We ladies were in a large room. So, in the evening, some of the ladies were gisting about their many “exploits” and i laid on my bed and watched. A particular lady who seemed so full of herself narrated an experience she had. She had discovered much earlier that there was a guy who liked her. Then, a while after then, they had a
mutual friend who was getting married. So, they attended. Shortly after they had settled in was the bachelors’ eve. Knowing that the guy was around, she said she dressed to kill; she made the neckline of her
dress so low that more than the cleavage was out, and she ensured that the guy saw her, then she began to taunt him, she flirted around with other guys, danced with other guys and ended the gist by saying the guy was almost drooling as she really showed him! My question is, what was her goal? Was it not just ok to have said no if the guy had asked her out? How will you be friends with a person like that and expect things
to magically be perfect?

Everyone is “attractive” – what we attract is what differentiates us. Our association is an indication of who we’re attracting. For me, i have this to say, there are men who value and have chosen to live by God’s instructions above what seems prevalent in the society. They’re committed to a life of that is ruled by God’s standards. Same with women too.

So ladies, don’t send the wrong signals and wonder why guys seem to be after you. Guys are mainly moved by sight. Don’t take a chance, don’t just wear what you feel like, your life’s more than how you feel per
time, remember you’re always sending messages and attracting people. It’s about your life, your future.

The mind is a battleground. Several thoughts fight to become the predominant thought within a man’s mind. Every major milestone in a person’s life is the result of a battle that already took place in the mind. Every achievement, success, failure, defeat is a result of a battle in the mind.

The interesting thing is that it’s in the same mind, before a person acts, that the battle is already won or lost. Lemme give an example. It’s practically almost impossible for a person who believes that once he starts a business venture, he’ll fail in it, not to fail. The deep rooted, predominant thought, eventually becomes the person’s reality. Also, a person that has failed in an exam several times will find it difficult not to expect to fail the next one except he does something about the most dominant thought that seems to be occupying his mind. Such a person has the tendency to think of himself as “not good enough”.

I once went to school with a fellow many years ago who, probably by reason of his past experiences, had developed a low self esteem. He saw others as better than him, and so began to react harshly towards people. He became abusive, verbally and physically. He began a journey of trying to prove to himself that he had some worth. He had strings of relationships at amazing intervals and broke them up by himself because he felt threatened. He was far from being in touch with himself. He needed healing in his mind. He didn’t need others to complete him, he needed to be first of all complete and whole himself. Which reminds me of a short but powerful saying:

“Hurting people hurt others”

We need to identify our strongest, most dominant thoughts and check if it is healthy and takes us in the direction of a great future. What is your relationship with others like? Is it rich? Is it enriching? It’s a function of the state of the mind. A person who feels others are responsible for his failure is not likely to make progress. Let’s deal with our negative, controlling thought.

Have you noticed that it always seems as if successful people are never discouraged and that they keep going on and on? It’s not that. It’s just that they have decided to become deaf! They have tuned their minds to having no other choice than to succeed.

We have had several experiences in the past, some of which justify us to think we don’t deserve more than we currently have. That’s a lie of the devil. We need to change that thinking, change our minds, and by so doing, change our lives. Who says you don’t deserve to retire young and rich? Who says you can’t go on a vacation in any country of your choice, stay in tasteful hotels and resorts and enjoy the best of life? It’s not for some select few o, God says He gives us all things freely to enjoy. We need to know that we deserve it, then begin to work towards it.

Let me wrap up with this:

“Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it proceeds the issues that govern life”

In a world that is filled with more negative than positive, we need to consciously flood our minds with thoughts that energize our minds, and close the gate against ones that discourage and weaken our resolve to be successful. Have an exceptional week!

I always never like to be tribalistic but rather, to see every tribe as unique. For every tribe in Nigeria, there are strong, positive characteristics as well as negative ones. There’s something so strong about the Ibo tribe, and that’s their business acumen. You can literally follow a young Ibo guys growth in business as he puts in dedication and a lot of commitment to see it grow.

I was at a nearby superstore recently where a guy stood in for the store owner. He called the owner on phone a couple of times in the course of the few minutes i was there to clarify the prices of some items that didn’t have price tags on them. He did things meticulously, because monetary profit was involved. At the end of the year, he ‘closes shop’ and goes ‘home’ for xmas. Rest is indeed sweet after labour.

I’d like to encourage you to take time to rest this holidays, if you indeed worked enough to deserve it, take stock, and plan for the next year. 2009 is full opportunities; there are several speculations that have been made, globally, mostly bad, but how things go depend entirely on us; it’s not in the absence of challenges, but in our resolve to rise above them.

Examine your 2008 goals and admit your shortcomings. When you take stock, there’s a clear starting point and the race ahead becomes easier to run.

I’d like to thank all my readers for reading, commenting or not commenting as the case may be . I trust God for fresh inspiration to speak His heart and be a greater blessing in the new year. Have a fantastic year ahead; I love you guys, you’re the best. Enjoy!

Hello friends, i’m sure we all had a restful holiday. This week was a rather short, but exciting one for me. I’d like to write on a topic i find very important at every stage of life because there are always challenges we need to battle, always.

Have you noticed that whenever we hear bad news or a scandal about a person, most especially, someone who has become famous and influential, it usually opens up a can of worms that is usually, very very unpalatable and shameful? My focus on this article is not the can of worms but in preventing the accumulation of any “skeletons” in our cupboards.

Have you noticed that a problem when internalized or kept in the mind, grows and becomes really exaggerated, but once you share it, seems to lose its mystery or power to a good extent? At the point where you say it out, the automatic next step is seeking a way forward.

Many people talk about everything else except their challenges and problems. It’s amazing that this type of scenario is so rampant: A lady gets emotionally involved with a guy and ends up sleeping with the guy, after that she feels very bad and used, and keeps it totally to herself. Unknown to the girl, the guy had a plan of sleeping with her other 3 sisters even before he set out to get her in the first place; and because of the “keep it to myself” syndrome, they all get used by the same guy and discover much later. It’s extremely painful and could have been avoided.

As a teenager, i once had a crush on a much older guy, who could have taken advantage of me, had i not shared my “feelings” with my elder sister, who told me the same guy had been disturbing her! at the same time o! Immediately she told me, the feelings flew out of the window, my eyes cleared!

For the guys, i appreciate the fact that you don’t want to look or appear less than the man, but there’s nothing that destroys faster than keeping secret a vice that gradually erodes one’s life away. It’s not unmanly to get help or have someone you respect as an accountability partner; you’ll be better for it. We all need at least someone we admire and respect; and who will always tell us the truth as an accountability partner. If you don’t have such person in your life, it might be a very long road filled with unending regrets.

If you ask me, this is a fantastic time to start afresh and enter into the new year void of skeletons and cobwebs that will impair progress in the new year. Let’s face our vices and fix them; let’s speak up and get help, it’s a new day!

Have a nice weekend!

The Lord is my mentor
I shall not flounder
He shows me where opportunities lie
He leads me to safe havens
He restores my hope
Though I walk through the valley of disappointment, danger and despair
I will fear no failure
For He is with me
His expert direction and training
Bring me security
He presents my greatest lessons
In the midst of the chaos around me
He affirms my personal worth
And I’m filled with confidence
Surely growth and maturity will mark my life
All the days we are associated
And I will be His friend and partner forever.

I do hope you find it helpful, i do. Have a great day.